Thursday, July 30, 2009

God Said Wiggle, And He Wiggled

A year ago I posted an entry about being afraid to pray. I've kinda experiencing that again. I prayed and prayed for the twins and lost one. I quit praying and Bumble B's been fine since.

But in recent posts you've seen I haven't been all fine. I've felt kinda lost. The husband and I are having some pretty icky financial problems and a couple huge fights. Not feeling the baby and not feeling pregnant really just iced the cake. I've just been down.

So 2 nights ago I asked God to help me. I think He was just waiting on me. Ever since this baby has been wiggling nonstop and I feel it all!! That night I was reading and I felt a kick from the outside. And this time I knew it wasn't bowel or gas. It was for sure him. Ever since, he's been rockin and rollin in my belly. Remember that whirlpool game you played when you were a kid? You just go in circles in the pool as fast and as hard as you can to make a whirlpool? That's what he was doing! He learned it from his daddy at 12 weeks. So not only is he wiggly but he's smart with a great memory too!!! ;)

So God answered my prayers. It happens.

BTW, what was the flutter/butterfly feelings I was told I would get?! Forget that, these are nudges and flips! Now I'm really not disappointed at all about not having a belly. If I wasn't so thin I may not be able to feel him, especially that initial kick from the outside. I'm sure he was saying "cheer up mom! I'm in here!"

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Feeling Blue + an IMPORTANT update!

I've just been feeling a little blue. For one, I had morning sickness today. WTF is up with that?! I'm almost 17 weeks! Don't mix grapes and Capri Sun...

I'm really bummed about not showing. Like I said, I'm almost 17 weeks, and I'm ready for a baby belly. I think I'm just having a really hard time getting excited. I really don't believe that this will happen. Do you ever get that feeling? I remember in high school about to graduate "this will never ever happen. I can't believe it. something bad will happen, I won't graduate." Then when I was in xray school I remember the semester before we started clinicals, "This will never happen. I can't see myself at clinicals. Something's going to happen." That's how I feel about this baby. I really don't see this happening at all. I don't know if it's the twin thing or what. I felt totally excited at the beginning of my pregnancy, but now, I just don't. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my baby. I love reading about what he's doing every week and how big he is (even though you can't tell...) and I love seeing him on an US. But besides that, I feel nothing. I'm just ready to start showing and start feeling him move around. May be then it will feel more real to me?

Here is my 16-17 week belly picture. Nothing exciting. LOL. The little munchkin is where my hand is. The girls on my BBC board (who are 85% all mommies and most seem to have forgotten what it feels like to be a freaked out pregnant girl) say my uterus goes up to my belly button, no matter where the baby is. I beg to differ, because I've had an upset stomach for a week, 2 weeks now and that is definitely all bowel and it's moving a LOT. I've always had a bit of a pooch, and I look skinnier than ever!

The only thing I can guess is that God is going to give me one of those little little bellies so that people don't say "Are you SURE you're not having twins?!" Cause I will beat someone if they ask me that. "Yes I'm sure! Well there ARE two in there, but one's DEAD and has been since month 2! Anymore questions asshole?!" I don't think God wants that to happen, so may be I'll just be a tiny cute girl. I'm totally fine with that I suppose!

My Doctor's office called and said that my 2 part bloodwork (is that the triple screen? I so wasn't paying attention...) is back and normal! Baby is good! YAAAY! There is something to be NOT blue about. I really had no doubt that he was, but I wanted to partake in the testing because it included the US ;) It also showed that I'm anemic. I've always been borderline, but now I guess little butt is sucking away what I have left! As long as he has what he needs, that's just fine!

I also received my GIVEAWAY that I won from The Southern Belle Baby. I'm soooooooooo excited about the wheel because it tells me when I'll be certain weeks and when certain tests are and my due date and how preggo I'll be on my birthday (38 weeks, 5 days...) and Christopher and I can't stop playing with them at the Dr's office. Now we have our own! I felt kinda bad for getting the fertility yoga DVD, but I may need it again soon, or I may give it to a friend. I'm not sure yet ;) Thanks so much Jessica!!!! (and her handwriting is as cute as her wittle baby belly! SUPER)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

O. M. G.

I did it. 136 comments. I did it. IRON COMMENTER BIATCHES! LOL! I actually really enjoyed it! I found and refound some great blogs and added a lot to my list over there on the left!

In the spirit of my fabulous bloggy week (100th post, blogoversary, iron commentor!) I'm going to show some fun very cool videos!!!

I want to get married again so I can do this!

I just saw this preview for the 1st time. I wonder if the book is at Walmart?!

Where are my TWILIGHT FANS?!?!?! The two new clips shown at Comic Con from the New Moon movie!

Friday, July 24, 2009

My Blogoversary!!!!!!!

Yaaay it's been one whole year! I've had such a fabulous time here on this blog. I've met some awesome people and read some AMAZING stories! I decided to compile some of my favorite posts for you to read!!!! :)

My Introduction. I haven't read that in a while... I'm refeeling those emotions as I read it. I was in such an awful awful place.

Some more of an introduction. I kinda giggle at myself. If I had known then what I know now... I was so frustrated after trying for 3-4 months after my first m/c.

One of my favorite lines about trying to relax and not worry about TTC: "But if you conscientiously make an effort NOT to worry about it, does it count when I think about not worrying about it?"

I'm still heartbroken over this.

My KuKd journey.

My mini-break, where I never breaked at all. Still did it, but just didn't take OPTs hahaha

My Diet Coke addiction. Yummy, formaldehyde!

1st time I got tagged!

What every angel mom goes through I'm sure, Failure. and PostSecret failure.

Meet my kids!

The universe was really against me for a while...

My nieces. I miss them SOOOOOOOO much

For fun- Some crazy xrays I showed during Show and Tell!

My Cindy as Ariel!!!!!!!!!

Rubbing the fertility statues post 1 and post 2!

My most controversial post. Probably my ONLY one...?

Our decision to adopt instead of IVF

One Year Miscarriage Anniversary

CD1! Starting Clomid!

Oh so funny...

National Infertility post, with LOTS of linkage!

MY BFP POST!!!!!!!!!!


Two Heartbeats!

Only One Heartbeat :(

My 100th post, and I didn't even know it! LOL

The rest is pretty current, and you can find probably over on the sidebar.
I really didn't expect anyone to click all those posts, but it was neat for me to see myself evolve over the year!!!
Thanks so much to all my readers and commenters over the year! I couldn't have made this journey without you!!!!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Things I'm Learning From ICLW

I've learned a few things through ICLW as I've just finished my 10th comment...

1. I hate those freaking captcha thingies. I'm going to remove mine if I have one...
2. I REALLY hate the captcha thingys that pop up after you hit submit. I've usually already Xed out of the tab when I notice they pop up.
3. Someone like me getting pregnant one one round of Clomid is not considered infertile. That's okay. I totally get that. I hate being thrown into a category with 2 girls from work that have done IVF. It's not far. I think my big mission here in the blog world is my two babies that I have lost. my 15 months childless while trying were very rough, and the years and years before that when I ached for a child but wasn't trying yet sucked too, but I know my journey is nothing compared to a 10 year + journey, and I hope people know that I know compare them.
4. Pregnancy blogs have a LOT less comments...
5. I have no clue what the difference between IVF is, 5 day transfers, FET, etc. My head just swims when I try to read the difference. Is there an ART site for dummies that speaks English?!

Tomorrow is my Blogoversary! I am going to try to get started on that post now... Yeah right... ;)

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Just Another Update Post!

I don't have any big huge news, and nothing too mew to report. Here are some things going on in my life!

-Those awful pains I was getting last week went away with one dose of Tylenol! Whoop whoop!
-We went camping this weekend. I climbed to the bottom to a waterfall with the hubster. And back up. The pains came back, but went away after a very nice long nap. When I do have them, I'll get a really intense cramp, no matter which way I lay down. Braxton Hicks already?!?! I need to slow down I think...
-I had a cute baby belly yesterday! Then I got an upset stomach and pooped and tooted it all away...
-While camping I think I may have felt baby... I just woke up one morning and was just laying on my back. Down where the little mischievous munchkin lays, I felt a turn over. And then a couple more. Seriously, like he was just rolling around. It was almost indistinguishable.
-I was up for about 3-4 hours last night burning up. I drenched my hair in cold water and it helped a bit. It was not fun... Insomnia and hot flashes... Perfect...
-I'm going for Iron Commenter this month. I usually SUCK at ICLW since i don't have my OWN computer. This month I'm doing it though! Ive found a couple digs that I dig ;) and I unfortunately have found myself quickly commenting and then getting the hell OUT OF THERE on twin pregnancy blogs... Even in bloggy world we have to protect ourselves I guess...
-My blood pressure at work yesterday was 90/60. Probably explains why I get so lightheaded and dizzy and tired so easily. I can't walk up my stairs in my house without getting winded. I had just come in from my car, and my pulse was 90+ and I could barely breath. The baby is stealing my blood! hehe
-I did my part 2 blood work for the NT scan yesterday. I have my next Dr. appointment on August 11th where I suppose I will hear the results, as well as my "big US". I'll have to pretend I haven't been getting them from my friends...

So I think that's pretty much it! Hope everyone is having a good week and a fun ICLW month!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Welcome to any new readers and HI! to my regulars! ;)

My name is Katie. My husband Christopher and I just celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary. We live in South Carolina with our two chihuahuas!

We are currently pregnant with a little baby boy (15-16w). He and his miscarried twin (7w) were conceived on our first round of Clomid. We also have an angel baby from March 08.

I feel so lucky to only dabble in IF. This pregnancy has been tough for me though since I miscarried IN this pregnancy but am still pregnant... It's a very strange feeling. I'm getting more and more excited and convinced that this may actually happen, and that's a relief.

In a couple of days I will be celebrating my blogoversary!!! I'll also celebrate my 100th post that I didn't even realize I did about 10 posts ago. Stay tuned for some fun flashbacks!

Thanks for stopping by :D
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Friday, July 17, 2009

Pity Party

In this post I will be complaining about pregnancy. I did not appreciate these posts while I was TTC, so I suggest that if you are TTC right now, don't read this. And if you do read it and are offended, that's your fault not mine, and don't tell me about it either because Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. Thank you!

This hurts. I knew that at like 7-9 months I'd be hurting, but this shit hurts NOW. This baby is all kinds of low. He's sitting on my freaking cervix, butt hole, and bladder. I haven't felt movement yet, but I keep getting this shocking pin needle like pains down low, and I'm pretty sure that is my hyperactive son playing bongos on my cervix, bladder, and any other nerve he can find down there.

I just want him to MOVE UP, get out of my pelvis, and give me a cute belly and a kick or two outside of the pelvic girdle! I look skinnier than before I was knocked up! Christopher says to not rush it, but I can't help it :( I'm ready for the fun pregnancy stuff. I'm tired of this not sleeping, peeing all the time, pain, morning sickness, and nothing yet to show for it.

People are a lot more considerate when there is a belly to blame. Anytime I just say "OWWW" in passing they say "oh stop complaining, just wait, blah blah freaking blah." Sorry bitch. Just cause I don't have a watermelon size belly yet DOESN'T MEAN there isn't a human inside of me already smushing my organs and ripping my abdominal muscles. Thanks!

Okay. Thanks. I just really wanted to vent and rant. I feel better now.

Oh and BTW I love my baby. I'm not being mean to him, really, I just would like for him to use some of the space he is privy too for his amnio-olypmics! Good thing he's so stinkin' cute...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

My Little Boy and some FUN

So let's check out the ol' wive's tales. See what, according to them, is in store for us...

It's a boy if:
· You didn't experience morning sickness in early pregnancy
· Your baby's heart rate is less than 140 beats per minute
· You are carrying the extra weight out front
· Your belly looks like a basketball
· Your areolas have darkened considerably
· You are carrying low
· You are craving salty or sour foods
· You are craving protein -- meats and cheese
· Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy
· The hair on your legs has grown faster during pregnancy
· Your hands are very dry
· Your pillow faces north when you sleep
· Dad-to-be is gaining weight, right along with you
· Pregnancy has you looking better than ever
· Your urine is bright yellow in color
· Your nose is spreading
· You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves in circles
· You are having headaches
· You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an even number

It's a girl if:
· You had morning sickness early in pregnancy
· Your baby's heart rate is at least 140 beats per minute
· You are carrying the weight in your hips and rear
· Your left breast is larger than your right breast
· Your hair develops red highlights
· You are carrying high
· Your belly looks like a watermelon
· You are craving sweets
· You are craving fruit
· You crave orange juice
· You don't look quite as good as normal during pregnancy
· You are moodier than usual during pregnancy
· Your face breaks out more than usual
· You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread
· Your breasts have really blossomed!
· Your pillow faces south when you sleep
· Your urine is a dull yellow color
· You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves from side to side
- You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an odd number

Boy wives tales: 5
Girl wives tales: 8
(BTW if you're preggo, I tag you to do this craziness)

Okay... I had a friend do an US for me last week. She said "It's either a boy or a girl with a penis. Which one do you REALLY want Katie?!" I picked boy of course :)

Here's his little wang-doodle!

Here are his arms! (to which my dad said "no, this is his penis. He takes after me." OMG! THANKS DAD!!!!!!!!!!)

His wittle foot!

His alien face

His face and his hand on his face! (is he sucking on his fingers like his mommy still does at age 24?!)

I asked her about Baby A. She's still completely there. Bumble B here is just lounging on top of her sac like it's a dang mattress or something! Glad to know he's comfy. I told my mom that he's already practicing camping, sleepin on his air mattress. We got the giggles and our friend, the tech, called us crazy and sick.
She said for now my placenta is to the side, but once everything kinda spills out of my pelvis, it'll probably be anterior. Dang AP :( I won't be able to feel him for awhile...
She also said my cervix was nice and long! And she showed it to me. Def not what I pictured it looking like...

Today I had a Dr. appointment. Sunday I moved a patient and since then I have felt period-like cramps, soreness, my vagina and uterus felt like they were going to fall out, and I just wanted to hold my crotch. Last night I had this really bad cramp come and go. I thought about it and it sounded like a Braxton Hicks, but I'm way too early for that right? I mentioned this all to my Dr and she did a pelvic to check my cervix. Said all was shut, Yaay!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Honest Blog!

Loren nominated me for this fabulous award a while back, and I haven't gotten the chance or energy to post it! I'm so slack!

Here are the Honest Scrap stipulations:

1. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find interesting and engaging

2. Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog and leave a comment informing them that they have won the "Honest Scrap Award"

3. List at least 10 honest things about yourself

These girls are (SOME!) my Twitter Hoes! I love these girls so much! If your log name is here, and not your real name, there is a problem. You're going to need to tweet me immediately.

1. The Pifer Family -1st RE appointment tomorrow! Go wish them luck!
2. Ellen
3. Heather
4. In Due Time
5. Beautiful Mess
6. Geek By Marriage
7. Katie

Okay, now 10 honest things about me!

1. I will cut my nose off to spite my face.

2. I used to be short-tempered. This pregnancy has made me just plain ol' TEMPERED!

3. I really wanted a girl, but I'm getting used to the boy idea, and might end up being disappointed if it's a girl lol

4. I started violin when I was 5. I haven't played in a couple years, and it breaks my mom's heart. I was pretty pimp ass at it in high school.

5. I love Britney Spears.

6. Even though I like Britney doesn't mean I like only pop. I'm currently addicted to my Frou Frou pandora radio station.

7. I probably spend more time on my Blackberry than talking to Christopher at night before bed... Sorry babe :(. It's something I need to work on!

8. I hate being in trouble!

9. I think people that tell me our 2 cars (VW Bug and Jeep Wrangler) are unsafe or stupid to have with a baby are the stupid ones and should shut up. Our kids are going to think we're the coolest parents ever.

10. I've never wanted to travel. I'm pretty content just chillin in bed watching TV or going to the beach and passing out :)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A Real Baby...

Look at my little floaty baby over there... Scroll down a little... I'll wait... It looks like a real little person. A REAL BABY. Am I seriously pregnant with a REAL BABY?!

The other day at the beach I was laying down on my stomach on this inflatable raft that's about as long as my torso. All of a sudden I felt a finger length long teeny tiny tap where the baby is. Was that the Burger King or my real life baby saying "WTF MOM GET OFF ME". I mean, I was probably totally squishing him with the way my belly was perfectly mashing into the float.

I may have seriously felt a real live baby inside of my belly. Is this really happening? People ask me about day care and this and that and I have to say "honestly, I haven't thought that far." Because I haven't, I just am not believing it at all. I don't feel like I have a real live baby inside of me. I just feel like this cranky hungry girl that's nauseated half the time. But a baby maker?!

I can't wait to start feeling baby. I can't wait to feel like a pregnant girl. I can't wait to say I've been making birthing plans and day care plans and nursery plans. I can't wait to be excited about talking about this real live baby inside of me!

I'm quickly creeping toward my 14th week. 14!!! I can't believe it! Soon I'll be 15! Then 20! Then 30! Holy cow! Then I'll have a real live baby to hold and love. I really can't believe it...

Monday, July 6, 2009

Thanks For The Support!

I've enjoyed reading all the comments on my Private post. I wrote that while I was private, so I don't plan on closing up shop again. The drama day brought in 300+ nosy stalking readers, 3X more than my normal supportive readers on one of my good days, so that's the kinda scary stuff I was talking about! I LOVE hearing from yall though. Its so great to know that there are people out there reading what I have to say! :) It makes my day, seriously. With that said, my Blogoversary is in 18 days!! I can't believe everything I had gone through on this blog in a YEAR. I plan on going through and picking up some of my favorite "lines" and events and posting them. Mostly for me... LOL. But if you have a favorite post or picture or saying or vent, I'd love to hear it! I can't explain to yall how much you mean to me!!!!!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

My Ruined Anniversary

We miscalculated our bills and paid too much, so we have NO money for this week. So instead of an anniversary dinner at a beach side restaurant we were going to have to go to Burger King. Then on the way to the beach we got a flat tire. A Fix-A-Flat AND one of those tar-cement plug things didn't work. So my dad and my husband are at the only open tire place getting 4 brand new tires put on while I sit here writing this post. I'm not so upset about the beach trip today, we are going to go tomorrow, but my heart was set on sitting on the beach with my husband watching the fireworks, especially since this is the last year we'd be able to do all that romantic stuff. But we can't afford 2 beach trips this weekend since we live outside of the Charleston area and it takes almost an hour to get there, imagine the gas... Then my mom gets mad at me for being in a crappy mood. SORRY MY ANNIVERSARY AND FOURTH OF JULY ARE RUINED. Ugh. SO we're having TACOS for dinner. On the US of A's birthday...

Although Christopher did just say "I know our beach trip was ruined, but I'm still happy to be here with you." Awww. It's true...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Private For A Little While

It kinda breaks my heart to do this. I enjoy getting comments from girls that say they've been lurking. IDK how many people read my blog, but unfortunately it will be cut short due to the private block.

There were a few things that brought me to this decision. One of the simpler reasons is the friend who I talked crap about in a previous post may have access to my blog now, and I kinda want to let her curiosity die down and either that post move out of sight or just delete it. I haven't decided.

The other reason is just ridiculous and sad. On yesterday I was utterly demolished by some real BITCHES. Some woman called me stupid and made her own post about wanting to smack me, and then someone emailed her husband and said she was psycho for what she was saying to me, and then every one thought I did it. I posted that I absolutely did not (although I'd love to pat the women on the back who did hehehe Karmas a real bitch, just like her), and then some girls started researching me through Google and my blog and told me they knew my real full name, my doctor's office's address and phone number and some other personal details. This girl posted a thread and she didn't think I seemed crazy enough to email this woman's husband. Then I was slammed for being "ignorant" about internet stalkers.

I never thought about editing personal info and pictures on the internet. I live in this naive little world where I didn't think people could be psycho. But they can be obviously, and now I'm freaked that some psycho women is going to wait for me at my next appointment and like cut my baby out of my belly or something. And I stick up for myself when I get hazed, especially for NO REASON!

So for a little while I will be on the DL while I try to remove my tracks from the internet and get these bitches off of my back.
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