Ouchies

Today was my colposcopy. The PA did it. I really liked her. She was very nice, talked me through the whole thing, and seemed to care if I had questions! She said there was very little "white spots" in there and only took 4 samples. She also said (TMI!) that when she took them I would bleed, and that is apparently good!

She also read over my chart and said something about my moderate-severe dysplasia last time. My Dr just called it moderate. Ugh I wish she would stop sugar coating everything and just tell me straight up!

I'm not a sore as I was last time thank God, but this time wasn't as bad as last. It's burning a little bit but nothing like 2 years ago. I have an appointment in 2 weeks for results and followup and she said she really didn't think we would have to go any farther. I hope she's right!

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I sent my socks off today for the sock exchange (check out the sidebar!) and I am so excited. I won't say who I have since I don't want to give it away or anything, but I can not WAIT until she receives them!!! And I can't WAIT to get mine!

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I read some of my book, A Few Good Eggs, 2 nights ago. I read more of it than I ever have. It's a GREAT book. It got me thinking about IVF and money and all that. Then Christopher and I had an important conversation last night, and we came to the conclusion that if it ever comes to IVF, that we will skip it and just go straight to adoption. We've both always wanted to adopt, have always talked about it, and Christopher made a point that he thinks if we can't get pregnant on our own then may be God wants us to give a home to an orphaned baby. Is orphan an outdated word??? Feels like it to me...

I don't disagree with IVF one little bit, but I would rather spend that money definitely getting a baby. Having a biological baby and being pregnant is something I of course would like to experience, but is not as important to me as having a baby. I think Christopher has been itching like crazy to talk to me about adopting because he hints about it a lot and about exploded when I brought it up last night. He's asked me before how far we would go before we consider it.

One of my college profs adopted a baby girl and later a baby boy. She was just never able to get pregnant and they tried for like 15 years. I in no way imaginable would mind being like them. They love their babies just as much as any mother & father I've seen with her children.

I don't want to make anyone mad that's going through IVF. I think people doing that are way stronger than I could ever imagine. Adoption is just something I've always thought about and wanted to do, and just something I would rather do than IVF. I know this is all way in the future, and might not even have to happen, but I wanted to make a decision about how far we both agree to go now that we are starting with drugs and treatments.