Hello My Highly Missed Friends!

Yes, I have been MIA, but I miss you ;) Yes, you!

My laptop is broken. :( I so so sad. Tomorrow we are leaving for Missouri to see my nieces though! I am so so so happy and so excited!

AF started today, so my break is OVER. I didn't do half the crap on my list, but whatever. TTC will begin again!

I am doing much much better. I had one drunk mc meltdown, but it was short and the first one since July. And it was after hanging out with a pregnant friend. I even looked a friend's baby shower pics. I am totally good right now.

My bday is December 29th and for my whole life every 29th of every month I would announce how many months till my birthday. Well my m/c was on March 29th, and since then all I have thought was how many months it had been since my baby died... I figured my fun countdown had come to a stop. WELP! Not on Septmber 29th! I told someone the date and said "Oh! 3 months til my birthday!" and THEN remembered 6 months since the m/c. Yaaay I'm going to eventually heal one day after all, right??? :)

BTW, currently reading book 3 of the Twilight series... OMG who is in LOVE with Edward as much as I?!?!?!?!?!?!

Feeling Okay!

I have been feeling a lot better the last few days. It comes in waves I guess. I went to a movie yesterday with my BFF and 2 other really great friend, the pregnant one included, and I loved on her cutie little baby belly. I was pretty proud of myself. I said SOMETHING silly teasing around and she started to say "Hey, if you want it you can.... (or something to that effect...)" pointing to her belly, and then I think she realized what she was saying and I just laughed and someone said something else. If I was in a "bad place" last night I would have said "SURE I'LL TAKE IT" but it didn't really bother me. IDK. It was weird!

But on my list of ways to better myself I put join a small group, and we did, and at the prayer request time I asked for people to pray for me because I have been having such a hard time with the miscarriage (and I CRIED! I haven't cried about it in forever...) and I think it really has been helping! The power of prayer is AMAZING! Now I just have to get them to pray for me to get preggers hehehe

In TMI news, I started AF this morning, and I went to my old Babycenter board to see when I started last month, and my cycle was only 27 days!!! OMG! I've been having 35+ day cycles, and that was close to 28! I'm ecstatic. Hopefully that means my body is getting back to normal. I've read that after a miscarriage your body can take up to 6 months to get back to normal. It's been almost 6 months, so I guess it is true! Only one more month till we "try" again, although we haven't done anything differently, but whatever ;)

I'm going to start watching my friend's baby at the end of the month. I went by there yesterday, and that baby is the cutiest little baby in the WORLD!!! I just want to pinch his cheeks!!! He's adorable!!!

27 days until I get to see my nieces!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!

The list progress!

1. Start working out again.I mean, pretty much.
2. Start eating right. Only one helping of french fries since the list began!
3. Start studying for my registry and TAKE IT!
4. Become Sleeping Beauty They say your skin gets better before it gets worse, right???
5. Save some money.
6. Get my oil changed.
7. Go away with my husband! We had an AMAZING time camping this weekend, even if it was with other people. We had some extra special wine alone time Saturday night. Yummy.
8. May be look around for another part time job. I'm going to start watching my friend's new baby at the end of this month!
9. Spend more time with my girlfriends!!Drove over to my BFFs house last week because she was having the wedding blues (bridesmaid dropped out) and we went and took her puppy to the beach! And I didn't turn down a The Hills invitation, even when plans got changed later.
10. Be less selfish and get over all my friends being pregnant.
11. Join a small group at church.
12. Keep taking my medicine and vitamins. Well, the prozac anyways...
13. Be old Katie again!!

Taking A Break

Sooo if you saw the last post, I had a busy busy weekend, so I have 18 ICLW comments to do today! I have done.... 1. Hahaha! If you don't know what ICLW is, check out the yellow rectangle on my sidebar. It's fun ;)

So this month and next month I WILL NOT be TTC. Not like I would get pregnant anyways (Sorry sarcasm Katie came out...). "WHY?!?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!" You may say... WELL my BFF forever is getting married on June 6th, 2009. If I get preggers this month (hahahaha! Sorry, expect sarcasm a lot this post), my EDD would be THE WEEK of her wedding. NO WAY am I missing her wedding or am I going to be 9 months pregnant and absolutely miserable in a Charleston outside summer wedding in a tight little (beautiful!!) bridesmaids dress that she has chosen. So this month and probably next I'm not TTC.

Wow. That is weird... You know, this journey has only been 6 months long... It feels like forever. I am so so lucky to have been pregnant at least once. I wish it had a better outcome, but I loved that little baby more than anything in the world. It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Right? I believe so. I was happier that week than I have been in my entire life and I wouldn't take that joy away for anything.

I hope that I can have as much excitement and joy the next time I get pregnant and not be a nervous wreck the whole time. I want to be naive and happy again!!

So I need some plans for the next two months. Something to take my mind OFF of TTC and make my life better for a future TTC and baby!

1. Start working out again. When I got PG I was so fit and happy about it!
2. Start eating right. I eat like crap. I might make today my last day to go to McDonald's and enjoy a unhealthy rat-mcnugget!
3. Start studying for my registry and TAKE IT! I have been to scared and nervous about it, and I really need to have it done before I bring a baby in this world. So here we go! After my trip to McD's, I will crack a book... Or not. Tomorrow I will ;)
4. Become Sleeping Beauty. Brush my teeth and wash my face every night before bed.
5. Save some money. Hmm 10% of each paycheck?
6. Get my oil changed. It's been over a year.... oops
7. Go away with my husband! I won't be able to for a while after a baby!
8. May be look around for another part time job. I don't get enough hours at the hospital. This one may be a far stretch. That's what the "May be look" is for!
9. Spend more time with my girlfriends!! I think that is pretty self explanatory! Pregnant ones included!
10. Be less selfish and get over all my friends being pregnant. That might take a little more effort than the rest, but I want to do it!
11. Join a small group at church.
12. Keep taking my medicine and vitamins. I would have super uterus by now if I had taken my prenatals every day for the past 5 months! And I have to stop forgetting the prozac. Not having it makes me non-functional.
13. Be old Katie again!!

Yaay I am SO excited!!!!! (OMGosh I just realized! 13 is my lucky number! This will be GREAT!)