Tuesday, June 30, 2009

NT Scan With Shocking Result!

This morning was my NT scan! My baby has the cutest nose in the entire WORLD!! The tech got lots of great shots of my little lazy baby! He figured, Mommy and Daddy are on vacation, so am I and didn't move for the US tech hehe. She said everything looked good on her end. I asked her to take a quick scan between the legs and low and behold. A penis!

This crappy scanner does zero justice. It's much more obvious on the real picture, and on the US screen. I tried to lighten it up a little for ya!

BTW I know this isn't 100%. I've gotten a new a-hole torn from Thenest.com about it. But for now, calling the baby a He helps me bond a lot. And posts from this message board have pretty much killed my excitement and I've forgotten the morning all together. I don't think calling this a boy is the worst crime I could have commited

Sunday, June 28, 2009

This Week!

I am so excited about this week. Once this work day ends (3:30... 4 and a half more hours...) I will be off with my husband for a whole week! His job is having a 2 week mandatory shut down before their next big project. Thankfully his job is still going, and he just has to take a week off. And somehow I got all week off! So we are going to beach it up and spend lots of fun time together!

My NT scan is Tuesday morning at 8am. I can't wait to see that little baby! I'm having a hard time bonding with this baby. When I got pregnant the first time I instantly was just absolutely infatuated with it. When I found out I was having twins this time I was just so joyful. Then after I lost one of them, I've just had a hard time getting excited! Of course I love the baby, but when people say "Are you so excited?" I really just want to say "No it's effing scary." I want this US, not to check for Downs or other things, just so I can see my baby wiggling around and hopefully start to get over my hurt and start to get happy about being pregnant.

I love my doppler. I don't use it every day, but the baby is starting to move, so I'll find her, and then she disappears! LOL. It's great to know she's wiggling around, but it's hard to get a reading on her heartbeat. It's been in the 180s, but that day I couldn't get it for longer than 5 seconds and as high as my doppler would get was 120-130. So I was freaking a little. Christopher called me in the middle of it and I was like "I HAVE TO GO! YOUR CHILD IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!" Finally I got her to about 160bmps and gave up.

Not only am I spending quality time with hubster and Bumble B this week, our 5 year wedding anniversary is on Saturday, July 4th! I think we're going to make a beach day of it, go to dinner, and back to the beach for fireworks. I am really excited! I am praying it doesn't rain and it's a beautiful day!

Thanks for all the advice on my friend! I am going to send her some books that I LOVE to keep her occupied! She is taking pictures of everything with her phone and posting them on Facebook in her "Views From Bedrest" hehe. She's in great spirits and is officially in viable stage and getting steroid shots for her little man, Eli.

Friday, June 26, 2009


My friend from my old BBC miscarriage/TTC board needs some prayers!

Last year she had a miscarriage, became pregnant again, and in November she went into PTL with her daughter at 26 weeks. Brie was born and passed not even 48 hours later. Nicole and her husband are pregnant again! She is now 23 weeks and started dilating and having contractions. She is now on strict hospital bedrest until the new baby boy makes an appearance.

She's nervous, obviously, and unfortunately with her awful history can't help but think about planning another funeral for another baby. She sounds to be in good spirits, especially after getting the news she can walk all the way to her inroom bathroom to pee instead of the bedside commode.

Please if you can spare some prayers send them her way. Her name is Nicole, her husband's name is Matt, and I don't think she has a name yet for her little man.

Also she's obviously pretty bored, and could use some ideas of some things to do. She has a Blackberry and surfing the Internet on it gets really old really fast (take it from me). The hospital has no Wifi. She's looking for some good book ideas! I want to send her a care package with some stuff to do, but I'm a little unsure of what to send! If you have been on bedrest, know someone who has, or just are really creative, please comment with some suggestions!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Just An Update

Nothing new has really been going on. I've been MIA, I know. I've been working A LOT, so I don't have much computer time, and when I do, I'm probably more likely to be hovering over the toilet than hanging out online. Here are a few things going on in my life!

-I had an OB appointment Tuesday last week. She didn't really do anything... I don't know what I was expecting...? We talked about the NT scan and I went ahead and scheduled it.
-I've had lots of fights with "friends" who have turned on me and been absolute middle school bitches to me. I'm so frustrated and really tired of being attacked and treated like a child. I know I shouldn't care what people think about me, but I can't help it.
-Work has been busy and just as bad of a rollercoaster.
-I got a new blackberry and opened a blackberry blog, SoBerryCute. It's a work in progress and is being neglected the last few days.
-I can now find the baby whenever I use my doppler! Her heartrate is always between 170 and 180!
-I woke up with a baby belly.
-I hit 11 weeks, and 12 weeks is creeping closer. I can't wait to have that giant sigh of relief.
-I avoid all blogs of people that lose babies after the 1st trimester. I don't even want to think about it.
-I'm trying really hard to bond with this baby. It's been hard since I lost the twin, but slowly it's coming back. hopefully my US next week will kick me in butt when I see that little cutie waving at me!
-Current Pregnancy symptoms- so tired, so hot, so cranky, so sick. I can't wait for the 2nd trimester!!!!! I can't wait to be so cute, so horny ;)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

10 Weeks Tomorrow!

I can't believe I'm hitting the double digits with my pregnancy! I am one fourth DONE!

These past 10 weeks have brought me absolute joy, nervousness, frustration, absolute heartbreak, worry, throwing up, heartburn, hope, and absolute trust in the Lord.

Yesterday I had a minor freak out and made a nurses appointment to get a doppler. We were THIS CLOSE to getting an US, but the nurse FOUND IT! Thumping away :) What a great sound! I am very very proud of myself. That was honestly my first absolute freak out. Yes, I did have some break downs a couple weeks ago, but HELLO! One of my twins was DEAD and I was awaiting the news on how the other was doing. Having a miscarriage is awful. Having a miscarriage and awaiting the news on the other baby you're carrying is weird and scary. I did AWESOME that week compared to how I could have freaked.

Christopher and my mother gave me a hard time about yesterday, but I don't care. They didn't go through what I did and they do't know how I feel. Well, honestly Christopher did, but he sure doesn't act like it. Men and their penises. I wish they could borrow a uterus once in a while!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

April Rose

I am so disappointed that this has turned out to be a hoax. It's ridiculous. I prayed and prayed for that baby and her family, and am just heartbroken that someone would play with people's emotions like that.

I don't know what to think of this Beccah woman though. She DID do His Will Wednesdays which I received tons of prayer requests from. I will forever be thankful for that.

It's an odd odd person that would claim and seem to be so incredibly faithful and then pull something like this? I honestly think that something has to be wrong with her. I really really pray that she gets the help that she so obviously needs.

Update- A few people are asking for some facts and evidence that I didn't even think about including. Here are a few sites that show some theories but also the pictures that they claimed were April were actually DOLLS!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

I Need Advice!!

My BFF is getting married Saturday. YAAY!! I'm so freaking pasty it's not even funny. I also wanted to refresh my hair color, but my Dr said no airbrush tan or hair coloring.

Is she just really conservative or was everyone told this?? Of course my baby comes first, but it's my BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING!! I've been waiting on this day since 10th grade. Almost 10 years later of them being together its finally happening. And I want to look freaking fabulous. I'm a dang bridesmaid for God's sake. I don't think pregnant women should look like crap. I think we'd feel a whole lot better about ourselves if we were allowed to do anything!

Sorry rampage. These hormones have been out of CONTROL this week!!!!

Update- "If you're not feeling attractive during pregnancy, the look of sun-kissed skin may do wonders for your self-esteem. The good news is that the ingredients in self-tanners are harmless, so it's fine to use them during pregnancy. These lotions and sprays are basically dyes that stay on the surface of your skin and won't harm your developing baby. Best of all, self-tanners have improved dramatically over the past few years, so you don't have to worry about looking like an extra from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory."
I'm doing it. I followed all the stupid rules my last pregnancy and this pregnancy and I still have 2 dead babies. It's not like I'm smoking or drinking a bottle of tequila. It's dang paint that stays on my skin for like 4 days. Of course, now that I saw my little virtual baby floating over there on my page I start to panic... Why can't think just be easy?! Women go through their pregnancies smoking, drinking, doing crack, and have no prenatal care and their babies are fine. It's so incredibly obnoxious and unfair.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Whirlwind Morning

After getting a huge migraine and going to bed, I woke up at 2am puking and rolled over and exploded my gel freeze head thingy, threw up again when I was getting ready for my appointment, flooded the bathroom on accident, on the way to the Dr realized my appointment was at 8 not 8:30, pulled over on the side of the road to puke...

Squishy Baby B (or Bumble B as he may also be referred. My mom's new name for him) is great, measuring on time, heart rate of 180.

I'm so happy that he's doing great, but it still doesn't feel real to me yet. I want to snap out of this so bad!!! I haven't been taking my happy/anxiety meds. I keep forgetting. I think I should remember AND double up ;)

Baby A is even smaller. I guess she's dissolving or just looks so much tinier since Squishy Bumble B is getting so huge. My doctor said that she will just dissolve and just because she passed doesn't mean anything will happen to B. She said if I ever feel worried to just come in and they'd check the heartbeat. I told her I'd see her every day! She also wrote me a RX for Darvecet (sp?!) for these awful migraines. Whoop whoop!!

Here is the US pic. He's just hanging out upside down like a little monkey. Kinda looks like he's waving doesn't it??? :)

Monday, June 1, 2009

Tomorrow's The Day

... That I get to see my little Baby B.

Thanks so much for all your thoughts, comments, and prayers. They mean SO MUCH!!!!!

I've got some symptoms coming back, but I've got an awful migraine too. I'm just ready to get this over with ASAP!!

8:30am couldn't come quick enough...
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