A Long Week!

Thanks for the comments on my last post. One night last week I had one of the worst nights in a long time. I was having BH/contractions every 3 minutes. It was awful. Some were painful, all were uncomfortable and full of pressure. I didn't call my office because they don't give a crap about me and my contractions. The only person I can actually get to care is my actual doctor and she's impossible to get to, so there really is no point. I took some Tylenol, laid on a heating pad, laid on my side, drank tons of water... Nothing. Finally at like midnight, totally exhausted, I took a hot bath. That helped with the discomfort and pressure. I was still having them, but they were bearable, so I went to sleep. Then at 4 when the husband got up I was still having them. At 8 when I got up I was having them sporatically but not bad. I put myself on bed rest the rest of the day.

I called the Dr office to at least see if there was something else I could do. They said "take tylenol... lay on your side.... lay on a heating pad.... drink water...." Did all that. I asked the nurse to tell my doctor that I called because I already have a shortened AND softened cervix and she's been keeping an eye on my contractions and cervix. I bet one bajillion dollars she didn't. I'll find out at my appointment on Thursday! And if she didn't get the message, I hope someone gets in huge trouble. I am so sick of this office it's absolutely ridiculous. If I didn't like my Dr so much, I would be GONE already...

I especially hate the contractions because when I have them, I can't feel the baby move at all. So I don't know if he is and I can't feel it, or if he's hating them as much as I am. I know they are "Just BH" but with the frequency and severity of them that I'm having, they can still cause cervical changes. I'll just have that home birth that so many women are DYING to have because my dang doctor's office can't care worth a doodle!

But since then I've felt pretty good. I take baths every night and that helps a lot. We have a huge jacuzzi bath tub so it's great. Another thing that I have noticed is that I can't eat a lot or that causes me to feel like crap and have contractions too. I'm trying to learn what helps and what hinders since I'm the only one that wants to help myself!

I had my baby shower yesterday and it was SO MUCH FUN! I got tons of stuff for the baby and got to see a lot of people! I have the best friends and family! You can read a recap of the day over at Baby Bumble B :)

Today the baby made me pee my pants. I had just peed, but he found some drops I had missed I guess and just squeezed them right out. It was kinda funny!

Not REALLY The News I Wanted To Hear

Today I finally had my appointment (since they screwed it up last week). They went ahead and just did my glucose test while I was there. I told my doctor that I still continue to have Braxton Hicks all the time and they are 50/50 painful/not painful. She checked me (and it hurt! What's up with that?!) and said "oh! His head is right there!" Ummm yeah... I know... She said I was closed up but still a little short. She said she was probably going to do an ultrasound at my next appointment. She measured me and said we are two weeks behind, that I'm only measuring 26 weeks. I am 28 today. I don't really know what to think about that. She mentioned the US again, so I don't know if she's going to check him out or not. She said I was long waisted so that was probably why..?

I've only gained 5 pounds this whole pregnancy, and yes while I joke about how nice it is, now it's annoying me because is my baby too small? What's going on? I eat all the time. It's not like I'm starving us. I'm not really worried, just kinda like "what...?" It's frustrating. I'm just having a very hormonal pregnancy week and have tons to complain about, but I won't!

I'm up to appointments every 2 weeks now, which I like a lot!

Hope everyone remembered today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness/Remembrance Day! I wrote a little post about it on Bumble B. I also bought a domain for it, so no blogspot anymore! You can still use the same URL I believe, but the new one is now http://www.babybumbleb.com! Pretty nifty huh?

25 weeks!

Wow 25 weeks! Just 2 more weeks until 7 months and 3 weeks until 3rd trimester!



BTW thanks for the support and encouraging words. Hubster and I are doing great :) Nothing like some pregnancy hormones to scare the shit out of him!

V Day!

Today is Bumble B's viability day! He is 24 weeks today and has a good chance to live outside of the womb in case something were to happen! I can't believe that I may actually be having a baby! One of my own! It's crazy!

My nieces and BIL and SIL came in yesterday. I haven't seen the girls since February. Let me tell you, 7 months makes a HUMONGOUS difference in a 2 and 4 year old! They are completely different and so incredibly grown. It's amazing. I can't stop looking at them. They look so different and their personalities have evolved so much. R is such a great big sister and J has turned into a DIVA! R can walk on her hands, do an amazing cartwheel, and bend back into a bridge. I could never do any of that. She flips off of the swing set, it's crazy. J's hair has grown like 6 inches it seems. She's got beautiful curly cues and is speaking in complete sentences, and I can understand everything she says!


This weekend I am throwing Christopher a Daddy's Shower! We are having it at an apartment complex that my SIL's sister works for. There will be a pool, boy food (pizza, wings, etc) and Christopher's team (Tampa Bay) will be playing, plus we're having Madden 2010 tournaments. He and his brother are planning on making a bracket and all this stuff. I figured they'd just "play winner" but they are really getting into it. There is a pool, but I have a feeling they won't be using it. Christopher's brother and best friend are both stationed halfway across the country and are BOTH in this weekend, so I really wanted to do something. His brother is really bummed that he's missing out on the baby, and Christopher is so incredibly excited about the baby, I really believe that he deserves a little celebration with his friends too!

I got us some tshirts for the event, and they came in yesterday!

Cervical Length is a Pain

I had a doctor's appointment today. I know, again. This was my regularly scheduled appointment.

We talked about my cervical length. She said it was 3cm. She said it wasn't funneling or dilating, which is obviously fantastic, but it was a little short. She said at 2.5cm she would normally do a cerclage. She said she could do one, but she thinks it would just hurt more than help (I'm guessing she meant "piss your cervix off") at this point. She said she is expecting it to be shorter because of my LEEP (2 years ago due to moderate to severe dysplasia). The doctor last week said there is an outside cervix and inside cervix and my outside felt fine. The way my doctor this week is talking it sounds like my outside is shortened? Anyways, she said if I ever feel that pressure or pain I did last week again, to STOP what I'm doing and rest. She said listen to my body and do what it says.

So I read up on Keep Em Cookin' (if you have not been to that site. GO NOW! It's full of fantastic info and the girl who runs it and the Twitter, @keepemcookin is so great!) and it says 4-4.5 is normal for my gestation and 2.5 and under is cause for concern. So I'm in the middle low of that. But if she's expecting me to be a bit short, that's okay...?

I felt like I asked all the right and great questions at the appointment and now I feel at loss again. Has anyone else had a LEEP, been at 3cm at 21-23 weeks but had no other troubles at all? I was 21w5d when the ol' cervix was measured, 22w5d today. Should I be concerned, or just chillax like my doctor is telling me to? I'm glad she said to listen to my body. I think I have been and I have felt stupid for it, but she reassured me that that's okay!

In other appointment news, all of the results from last week's US on Bumble B's little spine didn't go through on the computer so I had to have another. Oh darn! He was finally FACE UP! He's always been face down! So I got his FIRST PROFILE PIC! I love him so so so much! He looks just like his daddy already! His has my old chin though (overbite that resulted in years and thousands of dollars to fix). He's so so so stinkin cute though. So ugly he's ADORABLE. I just want to hold him and kiss him and love on him. Looking at that little face I forget about all of our money troubles and worries about working and how we're going to handle this and all I can think about it "Oh my gosh. That is my little boy that looks like us and I want to hold him and kiss him and never ever ever ever let him go." I don't know HOW I will make it these next 15-17 weeks! I just can't wait to love on him!

22 week survey & pictures!

How far along? 22 weeks today!
Total weight gain/loss: 4 pounds up!
Maternity clothes? I have to wear maternity pants (even though the XSs are falling off) or a bellaband. But the bella band is really hurting my stomach these days. I wear some of the maternity shirts, just the fitted ruched ones.
Sleep: Insomnia has gone away a bit. I go to sleep at like 8, pee at 3, sometimes 5, then up around 8!
Best moment this week: My husband FOR SURE felt the baby. He has before but wasn't convinced. His face just LIGHTS UP when he feels him! I LOVE it
Movement: All the time. The internet says he's supposed to sleep 12-14 hours a day. Not mine. He even wakes me up moving, so I know he's not sleeping then either! LOL
Food cravings: Pickles and Ice cream! How funny, right?!
Gender: DEFINITELY a boy! :)
Labor Signs: Had some Braxton Hicks. Umm, NOT un-painful ones. Thankfully no preterm labor! That awful pressure was worrying me!
Belly Button in or out? Still in... still stretching all around. As soon as I "pop" it won't have a prayer
What I miss: Margaritas and cold ham
What I am looking forward to: My shower in November hehe
Weekly Wisdom: Don't do housework. It makes you contract. Just stay in bed :)
Milestones: Had another US! 4 chamber heart and LSpine ARE there! Yaaay!

21w5d


When I am exasperated with Christopher


This is one of my BFFs Ashley. She had a Princess Prince themed birthday party for her one year old. She had crowns for all the kids, and she even got a little miniature one for Bumble B! Isn't that so sweet? She is probably the only person that really acknowledges him as a REAL person, not just a baby in my belly. I love it :)


Christopher put together the crib! Who wants to come paint?!


All his clothes so far hehehe. One has a snail and says "Worth The Wait". I got that onsie a loooooong time ago. So happy to finally put MY BABY in it!

21 Weeks Today

Sorry I have been MIA. I haven't had much computer time or any real big updates to talk about!

Bumble B is still moving like crazy. He finally found the top 4-5 inches of uterus he's been ignoring and now I feel him higher than ever! He's really growing on my heart ;)

I have to say that this week, I am so so so thankful to my husband for giving me this baby! I just want to hold him now and play with him, but I know he has a good while to still bake.

The husband and I have both started dreaming about our live baby. His hair is dark and he likes baths and naps and has the sweetest laugh in the whole wide world. I can't wait to meet him!

BTW, we have shrunk ;)

20 Weeks!!!

I am halfway done! I can't believe it! This is such a major milestone for me! I don't know if it is to all preggos out there, but this is so tremendous, and I'm not really sure why! 20 weeks just sounds PREGNANT to me! Like this is totally 100% real, and I am nearing the end. I seriously in all honesty never thought this moment would happen. This morning on my way to work the baby was having a 20 week party in my uterus. he was dancing and celebrating for sure! I think it tired him out because he's been sleeping for the last hour or two. This was a day I never thought I would make. In a month I will hit viability, and there may actually be a chance that I will have a real live baby soon. Wow!

Things I am experiencing, because I know you're DYING to find out!
1. I found stretch marks on my new beautiful baby boobies. Boo.
2. I'm turning into one of those paranoid freak moms. I registered for a breathable bumper, won't be using a positioner, and will have moving air in nursery at all times. I don't mind "leashes" because the thought of my child being snatched right from my hand scares the crap out of me. I sent a scary scary crash test baby video to my in laws because they think car seats are stupid. They're stupid...
3. My belly button is stretching. I have an outie in an innie and the innie part is starting to come out a little and there is another tiny innie under the main innie that you couldn't see unless you moved the big innie out of the way. Gross I know. Plus the bottom hole of my past belly button piercing is no longer IN my belly button. It's above it.
4. I have a HINT of a linea n-whatever. The dark line that cuts your belly in half. It's really low, not all the way to the mutant button yet.
5. 2nd trimester was supposed to be full of energy and sex? No way. I am so freaking tired I could die and sex? You have GOT to be kidding me. You know when you're constipated and have a huge poop stuck in your butt? That's what it feels like in my vagina. Go away leg humping husband.
6. Babycenter and TheBump newsletters jinxed me. I wasn't having midnight leg cramps until those biatches sent me about 28 emails warning me about them. Thanks y'all!
7. Baby boy showed off his man business Monday. On his uncle's birthday. I think that was a sign he's going to take after his Uncle M who never passes up a chance to chase my husband and his friend around with his wiener, delighting in their girlish screams and attempts to hide in closets and under tables with their poor faces covered.
8. Bumble B doesn't want to give all his love away yet. Definitely a mama's boy! He only kicks for me, and when daddy puts his hand on my belly, it's over. I'm considering exclusively breast feeding so he'll love me more than anyone else. How evil is that?
9. I realized that Caffeine Free Pepsi really doesn't taste bad. It almost tastes just like Diet. the hubster got me the wrong kind. I was so desperate I drank it anyways, and now if that's the only option, I have no qualms cause it's JUST as yummy!
10. Bumble B likes Sweettarts!!!!!

Feeling Blue + an IMPORTANT update!

I've just been feeling a little blue. For one, I had morning sickness today. WTF is up with that?! I'm almost 17 weeks! Don't mix grapes and Capri Sun...

I'm really bummed about not showing. Like I said, I'm almost 17 weeks, and I'm ready for a baby belly. I think I'm just having a really hard time getting excited. I really don't believe that this will happen. Do you ever get that feeling? I remember in high school about to graduate "this will never ever happen. I can't believe it. something bad will happen, I won't graduate." Then when I was in xray school I remember the semester before we started clinicals, "This will never happen. I can't see myself at clinicals. Something's going to happen." That's how I feel about this baby. I really don't see this happening at all. I don't know if it's the twin thing or what. I felt totally excited at the beginning of my pregnancy, but now, I just don't. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my baby. I love reading about what he's doing every week and how big he is (even though you can't tell...) and I love seeing him on an US. But besides that, I feel nothing. I'm just ready to start showing and start feeling him move around. May be then it will feel more real to me?

Here is my 16-17 week belly picture. Nothing exciting. LOL. The little munchkin is where my hand is. The girls on my BBC board (who are 85% all mommies and most seem to have forgotten what it feels like to be a freaked out pregnant girl) say my uterus goes up to my belly button, no matter where the baby is. I beg to differ, because I've had an upset stomach for a week, 2 weeks now and that is definitely all bowel and it's moving a LOT. I've always had a bit of a pooch, and I look skinnier than ever!


The only thing I can guess is that God is going to give me one of those little little bellies so that people don't say "Are you SURE you're not having twins?!" Cause I will beat someone if they ask me that. "Yes I'm sure! Well there ARE two in there, but one's DEAD and has been since month 2! Anymore questions asshole?!" I don't think God wants that to happen, so may be I'll just be a tiny cute girl. I'm totally fine with that I suppose!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
UPDATE!!
My Doctor's office called and said that my 2 part bloodwork (is that the triple screen? I so wasn't paying attention...) is back and normal! Baby is good! YAAAY! There is something to be NOT blue about. I really had no doubt that he was, but I wanted to partake in the testing because it included the US ;) It also showed that I'm anemic. I've always been borderline, but now I guess little butt is sucking away what I have left! As long as he has what he needs, that's just fine!

I also received my GIVEAWAY that I won from The Southern Belle Baby. I'm soooooooooo excited about the wheel because it tells me when I'll be certain weeks and when certain tests are and my due date and how preggo I'll be on my birthday (38 weeks, 5 days...) and Christopher and I can't stop playing with them at the Dr's office. Now we have our own! I felt kinda bad for getting the fertility yoga DVD, but I may need it again soon, or I may give it to a friend. I'm not sure yet ;) Thanks so much Jessica!!!! (and her handwriting is as cute as her wittle baby belly! SUPER)

Pity Party

In this post I will be complaining about pregnancy. I did not appreciate these posts while I was TTC, so I suggest that if you are TTC right now, don't read this. And if you do read it and are offended, that's your fault not mine, and don't tell me about it either because Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. Thank you!


This hurts. I knew that at like 7-9 months I'd be hurting, but this shit hurts NOW. This baby is all kinds of low. He's sitting on my freaking cervix, butt hole, and bladder. I haven't felt movement yet, but I keep getting this shocking pin needle like pains down low, and I'm pretty sure that is my hyperactive son playing bongos on my cervix, bladder, and any other nerve he can find down there.

I just want him to MOVE UP, get out of my pelvis, and give me a cute belly and a kick or two outside of the pelvic girdle! I look skinnier than before I was knocked up! Christopher says to not rush it, but I can't help it :( I'm ready for the fun pregnancy stuff. I'm tired of this not sleeping, peeing all the time, pain, morning sickness, and nothing yet to show for it.

People are a lot more considerate when there is a belly to blame. Anytime I just say "OWWW" in passing they say "oh stop complaining, just wait, blah blah freaking blah." Sorry bitch. Just cause I don't have a watermelon size belly yet DOESN'T MEAN there isn't a human inside of me already smushing my organs and ripping my abdominal muscles. Thanks!

Okay. Thanks. I just really wanted to vent and rant. I feel better now.

Oh and BTW I love my baby. I'm not being mean to him, really, I just would like for him to use some of the space he is privy too for his amnio-olypmics! Good thing he's so stinkin' cute...

Just An Update

Nothing new has really been going on. I've been MIA, I know. I've been working A LOT, so I don't have much computer time, and when I do, I'm probably more likely to be hovering over the toilet than hanging out online. Here are a few things going on in my life!

-I had an OB appointment Tuesday last week. She didn't really do anything... I don't know what I was expecting...? We talked about the NT scan and I went ahead and scheduled it.
-I've had lots of fights with "friends" who have turned on me and been absolute middle school bitches to me. I'm so frustrated and really tired of being attacked and treated like a child. I know I shouldn't care what people think about me, but I can't help it.
-Work has been busy and just as bad of a rollercoaster.
-I got a new blackberry and opened a blackberry blog, SoBerryCute. It's a work in progress and is being neglected the last few days.
-I can now find the baby whenever I use my doppler! Her heartrate is always between 170 and 180!
-I woke up with a baby belly.
-I hit 11 weeks, and 12 weeks is creeping closer. I can't wait to have that giant sigh of relief.
-I avoid all blogs of people that lose babies after the 1st trimester. I don't even want to think about it.
-I'm trying really hard to bond with this baby. It's been hard since I lost the twin, but slowly it's coming back. hopefully my US next week will kick me in butt when I see that little cutie waving at me!
-Current Pregnancy symptoms- so tired, so hot, so cranky, so sick. I can't wait for the 2nd trimester!!!!! I can't wait to be so cute, so horny ;)

10 Weeks Tomorrow!

I can't believe I'm hitting the double digits with my pregnancy! I am one fourth DONE!

These past 10 weeks have brought me absolute joy, nervousness, frustration, absolute heartbreak, worry, throwing up, heartburn, hope, and absolute trust in the Lord.

Yesterday I had a minor freak out and made a nurses appointment to get a doppler. We were THIS CLOSE to getting an US, but the nurse FOUND IT! Thumping away :) What a great sound! I am very very proud of myself. That was honestly my first absolute freak out. Yes, I did have some break downs a couple weeks ago, but HELLO! One of my twins was DEAD and I was awaiting the news on how the other was doing. Having a miscarriage is awful. Having a miscarriage and awaiting the news on the other baby you're carrying is weird and scary. I did AWESOME that week compared to how I could have freaked.

Christopher and my mother gave me a hard time about yesterday, but I don't care. They didn't go through what I did and they do't know how I feel. Well, honestly Christopher did, but he sure doesn't act like it. Men and their penises. I wish they could borrow a uterus once in a while!

Please Keep Praying!

Tomorrow morning is my US at the doctor's office.

I'm so worried that I won't be seeing Baby B tomorrow. I had a hard time getting attached to this pregnancy (absolutely unconscious. I tried so hard) but as soon as it finally sunk in that those 2 US pictures were pictures of MY 2 little babies, I fell incredibly and irrevocably in love with them both.

The thought of losing one makes me sad. I've been praying really hard that I see her beautiful blobness tomorrow. So I would really appreciate it if you could pray with me.

Thanks to those who have been praying with me already. I definitely have a sense of peace and real optimism for her. Just sometimes I get worried.

I'll update tomorrow with the news, and I'm really praying it's GOOD news!!!

5 Week US!

There are 2 sacs!!!

One is significantly smaller than the other, so we are praying very very hard that our littlest girl makes it. We have another US on Monday at the Doctor's office (these were all done at work!) and by then we should know the outcome a little better for a little bitty one!

Here are some pictures. I took these with my crappy cell phone camera, so please excuse the quality. The first picture is Baby A, big and fat, and picture 2 is Baby B. She looks way smaller on these pictures, but she's just about half the size of her big sister.

Please send lots of prayers that our little runt growns big and strong!!

Feeling Fine

I feel fine. I hate it.

I want to be puking and have heartburn and have boobs that hurt so bad I want to cry. But no. I feel fine.

Do you have any idea how hard this is? I have been having food aversions, lower abdominal cramping, until all of a sudden yesterday, they just STOPPED.

So I had a mini meltdown last night to Christopher. He tried really hard to make me feel better. I didn't feel much better but he did calm me down and helped me fall asleep.

I don't even feel as connected with this baby as I did in my first pregnancy, and I'm TRYING REALLY HARD! I am telling myself over and over "be so happy, be so excited, love this baby" and I have all along, however, my unconscious just is screwing with my head. I hate it, it's obnoxious.

I just want to be EXCITED and HAPPY and SICK!!!!

Lots Of Babies?

So I have been joking that I'm having twins. I told everyone I have twins in there, and I'm calling them Madeline and Addison (yes two girls).

Sunday at work I was freaking out about my progesterone and talked one of the Radiologists to order a blood progesterone test for me. Once I had the bloodwork the phlebotomist told me we wouldn't get the results until Tuesday. I was annoyed.

I went up to work today and checked my lab results and my Progesterone is

87.6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A normal Progesterone for the entire 1st trimester is 16-90! And mine is 87.6?! I still don't have my betas from yesterday (GRRRRRRRRRR) but I looked it up and a high P can mean multiples!

So my US tech friend scanned me this afternoon and we couldn't really see much (except for the enormous ovarian cysts that I apparently have...) but she said "Okay, that MIGHT be one, and that MIGHT be 2!" So I am going back Friday for another scan.

I've been kind of kidding about knowing there are 2 in there, but now that it may actually be a possibility... WOW!

So if you have experience with high Progesterone and singletons or multiples, let me know! I'm way too impatient to just WAIT for Friday. It seems so far away... :)

UPDATE! My HCG is 575!!!!!!!!!! HALLELUJAH for a high number! I'm baby baking for sure!

Still In Shock

Thanks for all the comments on my last post! I am in absolute shock. I was planning one waiting til my period was late to test, but we were going to be drinking all day Saturday at the Dragon Boat races, so I decided to take one. The rest is history :)

Today I took my butt up to the Doctor's office and got some bloodwork done. I'll have my results tomorrow. I peed in a cup though and I am officially pregnant at my doctor's office! They also told me my due date is January 9th!

I'm not feeling ANYTHING except that I'm HOT and sleepy. I'll take what I can get. I wish I was like worshiping the porcelain Gods, but I'll just wait. Hopefully I'll feel bad soon. I'm having that nagging pressure cramping deep down low, but I keep telling myself it's normal!!!

I really could use tons of prayers right now. This baby is a miracle and I am so excited about her. I want to hug and kiss her smiley face in 9 months!