A Long Week!

Thanks for the comments on my last post. One night last week I had one of the worst nights in a long time. I was having BH/contractions every 3 minutes. It was awful. Some were painful, all were uncomfortable and full of pressure. I didn't call my office because they don't give a crap about me and my contractions. The only person I can actually get to care is my actual doctor and she's impossible to get to, so there really is no point. I took some Tylenol, laid on a heating pad, laid on my side, drank tons of water... Nothing. Finally at like midnight, totally exhausted, I took a hot bath. That helped with the discomfort and pressure. I was still having them, but they were bearable, so I went to sleep. Then at 4 when the husband got up I was still having them. At 8 when I got up I was having them sporatically but not bad. I put myself on bed rest the rest of the day.

I called the Dr office to at least see if there was something else I could do. They said "take tylenol... lay on your side.... lay on a heating pad.... drink water...." Did all that. I asked the nurse to tell my doctor that I called because I already have a shortened AND softened cervix and she's been keeping an eye on my contractions and cervix. I bet one bajillion dollars she didn't. I'll find out at my appointment on Thursday! And if she didn't get the message, I hope someone gets in huge trouble. I am so sick of this office it's absolutely ridiculous. If I didn't like my Dr so much, I would be GONE already...

I especially hate the contractions because when I have them, I can't feel the baby move at all. So I don't know if he is and I can't feel it, or if he's hating them as much as I am. I know they are "Just BH" but with the frequency and severity of them that I'm having, they can still cause cervical changes. I'll just have that home birth that so many women are DYING to have because my dang doctor's office can't care worth a doodle!

But since then I've felt pretty good. I take baths every night and that helps a lot. We have a huge jacuzzi bath tub so it's great. Another thing that I have noticed is that I can't eat a lot or that causes me to feel like crap and have contractions too. I'm trying to learn what helps and what hinders since I'm the only one that wants to help myself!

I had my baby shower yesterday and it was SO MUCH FUN! I got tons of stuff for the baby and got to see a lot of people! I have the best friends and family! You can read a recap of the day over at Baby Bumble B :)

Today the baby made me pee my pants. I had just peed, but he found some drops I had missed I guess and just squeezed them right out. It was kinda funny!

Just Cause It's Halloween Doesn't Mean You Can Scare Me

Yesterday was my 30 week OB appointment. We are now measuring 3 weeks behind. You may remember at 28 weeks we were measuring 2 weeks behind. So the doctor ordered an US to check his size.

I went in this morning and saw my little man. The US tech said his head is lower than she's seen in years and years. She couldn't get over how low he was. 2nd tech to tell me that this week! She said my fluid was good, he was proportional, but small at 2lbs 11ozs. She then proceeds to have me sit in the waiting area for the Dr.

Okay, this may not sound like a big deal to you, but this office is notorious (in my book) to drop the ball and send me packing. So for her to make me wait kinda freaked me out a little. I was planning on waiting anyways because I wanted to know the deal, but for her to tell me too...

Then she comes out and says "She's (the doctor) not here yet, and I'm not sure when she will be, but you have to wait because I need to show her these pictures."

Ummmm. I started to freak. I was almost in tears in the waiting room. Like WTF is wrong with my baby?! Christopher was at work and I was texting him with NO answer. It was awful.

Then she comes out a few minutes later "Okay! Everything looks great! She's happy! She said you can go!"

Wow. Way to scare the living shit out of me.

I told Christopher I don't care if he gets FIRED. If I am in a situation like that ever again he is to be there no questions asked. I can't deal without him. He's seriously my rock, and I can't be alone in situations like that. The other day I got sick and puked everywhere all over myself in my car(wanted to know that huh?!) and he left his meeting to see what was wrong. I'm BAWLING (because I'm a baby) and tell him I got sick all over myself. I was expecting a "That sucks babe, but seriously? this isn't a big deal" but instead he was so so sweet and sounded so upset for me and talked to me for a really long time until I was feeling better. Because by that point I was crying about getting sick, I was crying because I have crazy hormones, and then it turned into how much I miss him and I hate how he works all the time and I want to spend more time with him to just blubbering crazy woman. And he was so sweet the entire time.

I just love him.

So the moral of this story- Baby is low, skinny like his daddy, I will be jealous of them both for the rest of my life, Christopher has to go with me everywhere at all times and never leave my side, and I am crazy.

Not REALLY The News I Wanted To Hear

Today I finally had my appointment (since they screwed it up last week). They went ahead and just did my glucose test while I was there. I told my doctor that I still continue to have Braxton Hicks all the time and they are 50/50 painful/not painful. She checked me (and it hurt! What's up with that?!) and said "oh! His head is right there!" Ummm yeah... I know... She said I was closed up but still a little short. She said she was probably going to do an ultrasound at my next appointment. She measured me and said we are two weeks behind, that I'm only measuring 26 weeks. I am 28 today. I don't really know what to think about that. She mentioned the US again, so I don't know if she's going to check him out or not. She said I was long waisted so that was probably why..?

I've only gained 5 pounds this whole pregnancy, and yes while I joke about how nice it is, now it's annoying me because is my baby too small? What's going on? I eat all the time. It's not like I'm starving us. I'm not really worried, just kinda like "what...?" It's frustrating. I'm just having a very hormonal pregnancy week and have tons to complain about, but I won't!

I'm up to appointments every 2 weeks now, which I like a lot!

Hope everyone remembered today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness/Remembrance Day! I wrote a little post about it on Bumble B. I also bought a domain for it, so no blogspot anymore! You can still use the same URL I believe, but the new one is now http://www.babybumbleb.com! Pretty nifty huh?

Just Annoyed

My Doctor's office deserves a gold medal for being the most unorganized crap hole on earth.

I had an appointment this morning. Yesterday I realized I hadn't gotten a reminder call so I wanted to make sure it was still on. I call the main office, which I HATE. They said I wasn't on the schedule at all and to call the small office (that I go to) and talk to my dr's nurse to see if she can get me in anyways.

So I call. And I call. And call. Call. Call. Call. I leave 2 messages. Nothing.

So at 9 this morning I called and it turns out my appointment WAS there at 8:40, but it didn't show my name because I'm "BLOCKED" because I have a balance. ??WTF??

So she makes me a new appointment at the main office with a midwife. I asked "Are they going to make me pay that whole balance?" (400+ dollars btw) and she said "ummm may be just like 250." Well I can't do that. I can do like 50 that's it, and she said to try, that should be fine. Well I have been turned away at this main office before for money issues. PLUS this midwife knows nothing about me. Nothing about my cervical history. So even if I get BACK THERE it'll be a waste of time because I'll have to explain everything and try to get her to check me.

I have nothing against midwives, but I'm not the most routine pregnancy in the world. I would like to be seen by MY DOCTOR. I would like to be checked by MY DOCTOR. I want to talk about my lack of weight gain to MY DOCTOR. Not someone that doesn't know me!

I know once I am in the hospital chances of having my doctor are like nothing, but that's okay. I'm having the baby. It's all over. But up until that point, I want MY DOCTOR.

So I just called and said I wasn't going and I wanted the next available with MY DOCTOR at the small office. So October 15th, here we come...

So annoying.

BTW! I am having a giveaway at Little Baby Bumble B! Come see!

Cervical Length is a Pain

I had a doctor's appointment today. I know, again. This was my regularly scheduled appointment.

We talked about my cervical length. She said it was 3cm. She said it wasn't funneling or dilating, which is obviously fantastic, but it was a little short. She said at 2.5cm she would normally do a cerclage. She said she could do one, but she thinks it would just hurt more than help (I'm guessing she meant "piss your cervix off") at this point. She said she is expecting it to be shorter because of my LEEP (2 years ago due to moderate to severe dysplasia). The doctor last week said there is an outside cervix and inside cervix and my outside felt fine. The way my doctor this week is talking it sounds like my outside is shortened? Anyways, she said if I ever feel that pressure or pain I did last week again, to STOP what I'm doing and rest. She said listen to my body and do what it says.

So I read up on Keep Em Cookin' (if you have not been to that site. GO NOW! It's full of fantastic info and the girl who runs it and the Twitter, @keepemcookin is so great!) and it says 4-4.5 is normal for my gestation and 2.5 and under is cause for concern. So I'm in the middle low of that. But if she's expecting me to be a bit short, that's okay...?

I felt like I asked all the right and great questions at the appointment and now I feel at loss again. Has anyone else had a LEEP, been at 3cm at 21-23 weeks but had no other troubles at all? I was 21w5d when the ol' cervix was measured, 22w5d today. Should I be concerned, or just chillax like my doctor is telling me to? I'm glad she said to listen to my body. I think I have been and I have felt stupid for it, but she reassured me that that's okay!

In other appointment news, all of the results from last week's US on Bumble B's little spine didn't go through on the computer so I had to have another. Oh darn! He was finally FACE UP! He's always been face down! So I got his FIRST PROFILE PIC! I love him so so so much! He looks just like his daddy already! His has my old chin though (overbite that resulted in years and thousands of dollars to fix). He's so so so stinkin cute though. So ugly he's ADORABLE. I just want to hold him and kiss him and love on him. Looking at that little face I forget about all of our money troubles and worries about working and how we're going to handle this and all I can think about it "Oh my gosh. That is my little boy that looks like us and I want to hold him and kiss him and never ever ever ever let him go." I don't know HOW I will make it these next 15-17 weeks! I just can't wait to love on him!

A Trip To The Doctor!

Last night I started having some pretty painful (well, I think so. I haven't had real labor obviously) Braxton Hicks. Enough to make me stop my sentence and whine and complain. I knew they weren't real contractions since my whole belly wasn't getting hard, just one side, the other, or in the middle. They hurt no matter what my position I was in. I had about 10 in 45 min-1 hour. I drank a bunch of water and went to sleep.

Today they just got more and more painful. I had a friend US me. She did a trans abdominal and said she couldn't tell if it was short or not (knowing this wasn't accurate, but my theory was, if it was really short, you'd be able to tell) because Bumble B's head is using my oh so fabulous cervix as a pillow and just burrowing his head right in! So I called the Dr and got in at 2:40.

I didn't get my regular doctor, but I didn't care. He checked me, said I was closed up, and I very nicely demanded an US to check my length. The tech just happened to have an opening at that moment, so I got to see my little man again! We got a look at the heart and LSpine that we couldn't get before since he was breach and had his BUTT in my cervix, not his head. He was pretty lazy and just chillin, not wanting to have pictures taken. Cervical length was good!

The doctor also measured my belly and said my weight gain (4 lbs!) and size (I think so small) were perfect. I told him some people said I was too little and he said nope, I was just little, so baby and I would stay little, but we were growing perfectly. That made me feel a lot better!

So basically the verdict of the day is- Baby's fine, I'm going to have painful Braxton Hicks for the remainder of my pregnancy. I'll be one of those lucky ladies. And you know, that's FINE! Now that I know the baby is fine and I'm fine and I know exactly what is going on, I can deal. Not knowing is the scary part!

US and Registering!

Yesterday was our anatomy scan and doctor's appointment. The US went great. On my end anyways... Little Bumble B is a constant wiggler and squirmer, which of course I knew and I love. However, making for a good anatomy scan, is not so great.

Everything that she could get looked GREAT. However she could not get a good enough shot of his 4-chamber heart or his LSpine because he's breach, sitting on his butt, legs Indian style, chillin with me. I think he might be a good lap sitter ;)

So UNFORTUNATELY I have to have another US in 4 weeks! I'm glad of course, because I love seeing that cute jackolantern face. I'm not too worried about the heart because I have seen the 4 chambers before. A little worried about the spine because the friend who did the US on Friday couldn't see it either. I know it's his position, but it still worries me a bit. I'm sure spina bifida could have been detected at the 12 week scan when he was sleeping like a log. And surely my friend would have caught it at 14 weeks. My BW for the baby and neural defects came back fine. I know they can be false negative and positive, but I wasn't worried. And he's moving his legs, so that's a good sign...

I'm sure it's nothing, but what mom isn't really a mom if she doesn't worry once in a while... Or all the time?!

Yesterday he also made a HUGE roll over and scared the living bajeesus out of me! I was just laying down, watching TV, hand on my belly and BAM! I jumped 10 feet! It was CRAZY. When will I get used to THAT?!

We also registered yesterday. OMG I was SPENT when we were done. I don't think I got out of bed the rest of the afternoon. We registered at Babies R Us and Target. We decided on a bedding that we liked a lot online but weren't sure about. We liked it a lot more in person. Plus it'll be easier and cheaper (on our part) than the pirate theme we were considering since we'd have to buy everything online from boutiques and stuff ourselves. The pack and play I want though is unfortunately only online. But may be a far away relative will get it and have it shipped. That'd be nice ;)

Here is a pic from my US. My absolute favorite. The past two scans he's been constantly sucking on that thumb! I LOVE it!
(Click for a larger view!)

Whirlwind Morning

After getting a huge migraine and going to bed, I woke up at 2am puking and rolled over and exploded my gel freeze head thingy, threw up again when I was getting ready for my appointment, flooded the bathroom on accident, on the way to the Dr realized my appointment was at 8 not 8:30, pulled over on the side of the road to puke...

Squishy Baby B (or Bumble B as he may also be referred. My mom's new name for him) is great, measuring on time, heart rate of 180.

I'm so happy that he's doing great, but it still doesn't feel real to me yet. I want to snap out of this so bad!!! I haven't been taking my happy/anxiety meds. I keep forgetting. I think I should remember AND double up ;)

Baby A is even smaller. I guess she's dissolving or just looks so much tinier since Squishy Bumble B is getting so huge. My doctor said that she will just dissolve and just because she passed doesn't mean anything will happen to B. She said if I ever feel worried to just come in and they'd check the heartbeat. I told her I'd see her every day! She also wrote me a RX for Darvecet (sp?!) for these awful migraines. Whoop whoop!!

Here is the US pic. He's just hanging out upside down like a little monkey. Kinda looks like he's waving doesn't it??? :)

May ICLW!

Just a little forewarning, if you came from ICLW and DON'T want to hear about pregnancy, hit the back button! I became pregnant since I signed up for this month!!!

Welcome ICLWers!!!

My name is Katie, I'm married to Christopher, and we are expecting TWINS!!! I am still very early in my pregnancy, so a little nervous, but surprising not as much as I thought I would be. I have been praying for peace, so I think God is definitely listening!

This blog is going to be primarily about my twin pregnancy, my husband, our pets, our March 08 heartbreaking miscarriage, and infertility. Thankfully I only dabbled a tiny bit into IF by getting pregnant one our first round of Clomid. I still have lots of friends that are still on this tough tough journey, and although I am pregnant, I still find myself very frustrated with the ignorance of the fertiles.

If you're pregnant with twins or have twins (or multiples!!!) please comment with your link, because I am a little intimidated on the cost of two babies and would really like to hear other experiences.

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Here are the US pictures I've been promising since Tuesday :)

Baby A is on the right, Baby B on the left


Baby A


Baby B


My appointment went well. It was so nice to FINALLY get blood take for pregnancy tests and fill out paper work because I am pregnant. It was nice to see them talk about different tests at different points in my pregnancy and to see MY BABIES' HEARTBEATS!!!

The babies are still measuring 5 days behind, just like I told that witch US tech. Baby A is actually the sac that I was concerned about a few weeks ago, and now she's bigger than Baby B! All of your prayers have worked! Now keep praying for them both, an B. His heart rate was 112, which the Dr said is okay, but she wants to see it over 120. But the babes were only measuring 5w6d, so their hearts JUST started beating THAT DAY, so I think 112 sounds pretty darn good. I bet it's just as high as A's today!

I am pretty sure A is a girl since she fertilized late (girl sperm being slower but living longer) and B being a boy since he fertilized first (being that boy sperm swim faster). And just cause I have a hunch. And because it would be so great if they were boy/girl! How fun would that be?

Lots Of Babies?

So I have been joking that I'm having twins. I told everyone I have twins in there, and I'm calling them Madeline and Addison (yes two girls).

Sunday at work I was freaking out about my progesterone and talked one of the Radiologists to order a blood progesterone test for me. Once I had the bloodwork the phlebotomist told me we wouldn't get the results until Tuesday. I was annoyed.

I went up to work today and checked my lab results and my Progesterone is

87.6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A normal Progesterone for the entire 1st trimester is 16-90! And mine is 87.6?! I still don't have my betas from yesterday (GRRRRRRRRRR) but I looked it up and a high P can mean multiples!

So my US tech friend scanned me this afternoon and we couldn't really see much (except for the enormous ovarian cysts that I apparently have...) but she said "Okay, that MIGHT be one, and that MIGHT be 2!" So I am going back Friday for another scan.

I've been kind of kidding about knowing there are 2 in there, but now that it may actually be a possibility... WOW!

So if you have experience with high Progesterone and singletons or multiples, let me know! I'm way too impatient to just WAIT for Friday. It seems so far away... :)

UPDATE! My HCG is 575!!!!!!!!!! HALLELUJAH for a high number! I'm baby baking for sure!

Still In Shock

Thanks for all the comments on my last post! I am in absolute shock. I was planning one waiting til my period was late to test, but we were going to be drinking all day Saturday at the Dragon Boat races, so I decided to take one. The rest is history :)

Today I took my butt up to the Doctor's office and got some bloodwork done. I'll have my results tomorrow. I peed in a cup though and I am officially pregnant at my doctor's office! They also told me my due date is January 9th!

I'm not feeling ANYTHING except that I'm HOT and sleepy. I'll take what I can get. I wish I was like worshiping the porcelain Gods, but I'll just wait. Hopefully I'll feel bad soon. I'm having that nagging pressure cramping deep down low, but I keep telling myself it's normal!!!

I really could use tons of prayers right now. This baby is a miracle and I am so excited about her. I want to hug and kiss her smiley face in 9 months!

Day 1

So today is CD4. I went to the hospital yesterday to do my CD3 blood work and US. The stupid hospital wanted hundreds of dollars for a copay that I was NOT able OR willing to pay. So I had a bit of a breakdown afterwards going from "WE SHOULDN'T BE PARENTS" to "I HATE THIS PLACE" to lots of other comments and exclamations that I'm sure my husband thought were absolutely absurd. But he happens to be the best husband in the world and instead of getting mad at me for being upset, he stopped at the grocery store and got me my favorite kind of pretzels and a 2 liter diet coke!

I called the doctor on call and he said to be at the office at 8:30 this morning to talk to my nurse and doctor. When I pulled up, my doctor did as well (in a Lexus btw) and she said we could do everything this morning.

So I had CD4 blood work and US today and took my Clomid when I got home!

I am officially taking hormones to help knock myself up. Fun huh?? I also bought Christopher some Zinc to help with motility. My head is hurting a lot though. It has been hurting since CD1 and now is getting worse, if possible.

Here we go!!

I had my appointment yesterday for my colposcopy. It was all beningn, YAAY!

So it's official! Clomid starts next cycle, which will be next week. Come on twins, Mommy is waiting on you!!!

Ouchies

Today was my colposcopy. The PA did it. I really liked her. She was very nice, talked me through the whole thing, and seemed to care if I had questions! She said there was very little "white spots" in there and only took 4 samples. She also said (TMI!) that when she took them I would bleed, and that is apparently good!

She also read over my chart and said something about my moderate-severe dysplasia last time. My Dr just called it moderate. Ugh I wish she would stop sugar coating everything and just tell me straight up!

I'm not a sore as I was last time thank God, but this time wasn't as bad as last. It's burning a little bit but nothing like 2 years ago. I have an appointment in 2 weeks for results and followup and she said she really didn't think we would have to go any farther. I hope she's right!

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I sent my socks off today for the sock exchange (check out the sidebar!) and I am so excited. I won't say who I have since I don't want to give it away or anything, but I can not WAIT until she receives them!!! And I can't WAIT to get mine!

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I read some of my book, A Few Good Eggs, 2 nights ago. I read more of it than I ever have. It's a GREAT book. It got me thinking about IVF and money and all that. Then Christopher and I had an important conversation last night, and we came to the conclusion that if it ever comes to IVF, that we will skip it and just go straight to adoption. We've both always wanted to adopt, have always talked about it, and Christopher made a point that he thinks if we can't get pregnant on our own then may be God wants us to give a home to an orphaned baby. Is orphan an outdated word??? Feels like it to me...

I don't disagree with IVF one little bit, but I would rather spend that money definitely getting a baby. Having a biological baby and being pregnant is something I of course would like to experience, but is not as important to me as having a baby. I think Christopher has been itching like crazy to talk to me about adopting because he hints about it a lot and about exploded when I brought it up last night. He's asked me before how far we would go before we consider it.

One of my college profs adopted a baby girl and later a baby boy. She was just never able to get pregnant and they tried for like 15 years. I in no way imaginable would mind being like them. They love their babies just as much as any mother & father I've seen with her children.

I don't want to make anyone mad that's going through IVF. I think people doing that are way stronger than I could ever imagine. Adoption is just something I've always thought about and wanted to do, and just something I would rather do than IVF. I know this is all way in the future, and might not even have to happen, but I wanted to make a decision about how far we both agree to go now that we are starting with drugs and treatments.

Frustrated

My appointment is on Monday. I'm really down. I realized yesterday that my m/c was this month last year and it'd be so nice to be pregnant for it, but now I will just be sad and baby-less. Plus, if I don't get pregnant this month, then (may be, hopefully, one day) I'll have a 2010 baby and not the 2008 baby like I was supposed to. That is 2 years. This process is just supposed to be 9, 10 months. Not over 24. Not over 1203984783 like some of the ladies out there. It is just really frustrating.

Show And Tell (Plus, SA results, I think?)

I did this video a long time ago of my dog Cinderella and my other dog Prince Charming. I don't know why but it makes me laugh out loud every single time I watch it. I know it's kinda dark, but it's my favorite thing ever.




This is my new kitty cat, Cisco and his twin borhter Simon who was adopted by my mother in law. I dunno which one is which and I don't know where one ends and the other begins. Sorry for the super crappy phone camera quality.




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In non-pet realted news, I called the doctor's office for the 4th time today and they said they will discuss our SA results with us at my next appoint (the 16th) but the doctor would have called if there was anything significant. So I guess that's good. They annoy me.

PLEASE HELP! I can't find my BG info ANYWHERE AND now my header is not centered! I need serious blog-genious help...

Decisions....

So I am thinking about going back brunette. We have well water and it makes the blonde so brassy so quickly and it looks white trash 2-3 weeks in. My BFF seems to like it better brown, my husband won't really give me a straight answer, because I think he likes it better blonde, and I get mixed emotions from everyone else. *sigh*. Life is so hard.

Christopher is sick with the flu. I feel so bad for him. He has had a 100+ fever the last 3 days. He went to a doc-in-a-box Friday and they didn't even do a flu test and gave him a Z-Pack. He's still just as sick if not more. He can't eat, he can't sleep, and he doesn't even want to do it. I know he's sick then! ;) He has alllll the flu symptoms, especially the major achy-all-over giveaway symptom. So I am taking him to a REAL doctor tomorrow and having him tested for the flu. It's obviously viral if the anti-biotic isn't working. Dumb "doctors". They are the same people who told him nothing was wrong with his back but when one of my radiologists read the same MRI report said it was BROKEN. I don't know WHY he continues to go back there. But it's OVER! I'm breaking the two of them up.

I am going to go see Britney Spears this week! I am so so so so excited!

Also, I wanted to change my background, but all of a sudden, I can't find the HTML gadget that had the HTML code! IT HAS DISAPPEARED! What the heck man?

I Love When My Husband Stands At My Head...

So today was the DOCTORS APPOINTMENT!!! Dum dum dum dum....

Anyways, we waiting for like an hour and a half... She was so freaking behind and calling back patients every 10 minutes, which means she was NOT giving them the time of day I am sure. I went back, still gaining weight, changed...

Christopher said that in the chair in the examing room they should have men's magazine's not women's. I thought that was a good valid point.

Then she came in and the husband, as strong and brave as he is, jumped from the foot of the bed in his chair to my head in a flash. I guess he doesn't want to see anything go in there that doesn't belong to him? He's going to get a rude awakening when this bumpy TTC road is up and there is a 15lb baby squeezing out... He thinks a speculum is bad... I talked as quickly as I could while she examined. She was really really nice and stayed to talk for minute. I was surprised! Pleasantly surprised!!

She said she wasn't worried about my eggs since I am so young. This age group she is worried about tubes and semen. So she ordered Christopher a semen analysis and said she would do a whole entire blood and hormone work up on me as well as order a HSG, but mentioned that they are really expensive. So we went ahead and got a script for the SA and I made an appointment. I am going back next month to talk to her about a game plan. This was just a yearly, so she didn't have time to go into a lot today. And I'm okay with that. We got a lot done, she was really helpful, and I have 2 things to look forward to!

The SA is at a fertility clinic down here and I am going to go with Christopher. I really want to see what it's all about and get some literature in case I end up a patient there. I am also excited about my HSG. I know that sounds weird... But I am an xray tech and I do them a lot. I am really excited to see my own insides up there on that double screen!!!!!

Also I bought "Taking Charge Of Your Fertility" and "A Few Good Eggs". Both offer equally good and LOL fun. I know TKOYF isn't SUPPOSED to make you laugh, but seriously. Have you seen it? May be my brain is stuck in 5th grade, but the lady crouching and sticking her finger inside to check her CM made me laugh out loud.

Christopher will forever be scarred by the words "Cervical Mucous."

Well the new friends are cool...

Hmm This blog began as an outlet to vent, but I think now it's turning into a place to prove MYSELF wrong, that YES TTC IS fun!

hahaha we will see. Today might just be a good day :) Christopher and I have been sitting in bed reading all day long. I finished "Something Borrowed" that I started Saturday (it was that good!) and started "Something Blue". He's reading "Treasure Island". Silly boy hehehe.

I'm loving all the comments I am getting. I didn't even realize that I HAD comments LOL! I have no idea why, but Kathy's comment about her November 30th EDD angel (same EDD as mine...) made me smile. Of course I am most definitely SO SORRY for her loss, but knowing that I DO have a baby, and she has something in common with someone else... It makes me happy. Weird I know...

Thursday night I drove with my MIL to Hilton Head (just a few hours from our house, and the beach and ocean were so much different! it was crazy!). She has had 2 miscarriages and a stillborn. She told me the story of her stillborn and it broke my heart. A month ago I asked her when she stopped being sad about her babies and she said 30+ years later she is still sad. She has been a huge help to me this last month, but I think she thinks I'm crazy ;). I've been told I wear my heart on my sleeve, which I believe is definitely true. I have no problem talking about my feelings, that's for sure.

I think people with blogs have to have that kind of personality LOL

Tomorrow is my ultrasound to check for fibroids. My mother and my grandmother had them and my MIL as well. So I'm kinda nervous, but kinda not. I feel like I SHOULD be nervous, but I'm not. I don't know how I feel about it. I need to get the result of my bloodwork and my pap though, so don't let me forget ;)

oh wait.... it IS fun!!!

Soooo the doctor told me to only BD every 4th day and when I THINK I MIGHT be Oing, BD every 3rd day. Sperm live in your body for 5 days, so every 3rd day will get it. And you want enough to be potent and 3 days gives your man enough time to stock up. HA! Someone telling me to do one thing obviously has just done something to my BRAIN! IDK what it is, but I want it every minute of every day. We have DTD like 7 times in the last 9 days. It's ridiculous!!!! It's like I'm a dang teenager or something. You tell me not to do something, and dang you if I'm going to listen!!!

Honestly, I think it is the lack of stress. She told me to quit the OPTs and is running these tests on me so I will now if I am having a problem or not within the month. I think the weights lifted from my shoulders have just made a huge difference in ME. When I got pregnant the first time, we were just having FUN, kinda tinkering with the idea of trying to get pregnant. This month I don't even know what CD I'm on!!!! I'm not even using a ticker on my BBC board!!!

It's amazing what a little not worrying can do for your love life. And I will say this too, my DH is NOT backing up my doctor. He pretty much just lets me do as I please.... Men....