Well I hear all my friends say "OMG getting pregnant was sooo easyy!!!" I watch friend after friend get pregnant in a matter of the time it takes to tie a shoe. I'm sure a lot of people rolled their eyes at me when I was pregnant in a week.
Okay so. I got pregnant. That's supposedly half the battle right? I guess so.
So when I made the decision to TTC again (probably for the wrong reasons, but we'll get to that...) I figured HEY! Lots of people get pregnant INSTANTLY after a m/c! This will be CAKE!
Yeah. Until cycle 2 came 3 days early, cycle 3 came 5 days late at 11 days luteal phase and cycle 4 came 4 days late at 6!!! luteal days. Wow. My body isn't even giving my baby a dang chance to implant if she wanted to!!!
The stress of OPTs and luteal phases is just too much. And if I see one more stupid BFN I'll be ticked.
So this month I am just doing what the doctor ordered. Sex every 4th day. NO OPTs! And when I THINK I'm Ovulating, bump it up to every 3rd day.
I'm ready to not have TTC taking over my life. I have just come to realize that I am in no way shape or form over my miscarriage. Half of me wants to get pregnant NOW so I will be pregnant and happy on November 30th, my due date for my angel baby. It's going to be hard, and I think it will be harder without another miracle keeping my mind off of it...
I've met some amazing support on my BBC thread. I love those girls to pieces! I don't know WHAT I would have done without them! They have really helped me through this. We are all in the same boat. Miscarriages in the spring. Losing our Fall babies. Half of us are pregnant again (SOOO happy for them) and the other half is just trucking along. Half of that half are having fertility problems (I'm going to just throw myself in the category for sake of the conversation. I'm getting medical attention, so that is enough for me) and the other half is split into girls on break from yet another m/c, vacation, health insurance or piece of mind, and girls that just are getting AFs every month and just taking it in stride.
I would just throw myself into a category of most women. Takes up to a year to get pregnant. but with these short luteal phases, something is up. And I need some answers. STAT.
Really all I want in the world is to be 21 weeks pregnant. I have 3 girlfriends that found out they were pregnant the week I did. They just found out the sexes (1 boy, 2 girls) and are feeling their babies kick for the first time. Those are some lucky ladies right there. OH MY GOSH what I wouldn't give to have my baby back....
It's crazy how attached I felt in such a short time. That just proves the amazing love a woman has for her child. You never know it until you have it. I wish I could have it back.
7 years ago