Friday, May 1, 2009

God's Time

This is kinda part two of yesterday's post. This is something I hear from people all the time too.

"May be it's not God's time for you yet."

Or something along the line that God doesn't want me to be a mom yet. They always say it's not His plan. Well you know what, I want it to be His plan.

This is always a tricky one. I want to say something smart-ass and witty without sounding sacrilegious.

And I don't really get the phrase anyways. Should we all just sit around? I mean, some of us would never get pregnant. Some woman can't get pregnant without IVF, IUI, drugs, etc. Does God not want us to have kids? And if He didn't want us to be moms then why are there success stories?

I guess this is one of those posts where I am talking about being a Christian but I am questioning my God and faith. It's not like I'm questioning who my God is, I'm just questioning "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

I think I would be a great mom and I have always been amazing with kids and babies. I don't think God would have given me that gift and this want for children (since I was a child myself) if He didn't want me to be a mommy. It just wouldn't make sense. Unless it's some sick joke, and I refuse to believe that that's the case.

But sometimes I think about it and I really think that this isn't my time. I mean what else is the problem? It's not from lack of trying, that's for sure. I just need to sit back and pray and hope for my miracle.

Update: Just saw my ticker and it says I've been TTC for 17 months. 17 months today. I know for some that doesn't sound like a long time, but for me it sounds soooo long. I hope this happens for me soon. Looking at the bills rolling in, I don't know how far I can go right now.


Christopher and I got our Bentley Bracelets yesterday! I'm very excited and can't WAIT for someone to ask me what it is for. (We're looking a little rough, it's like 11pm after Dragonboat Race practice and we were exhausted! LOL)

Here's a picture of Bentley with her bracelets!!!

5 people that love me told me so:

The Pifer's said...

Hey sweetie, I get that ALL the time too! It's one of the hardest comments for me. I truly believe that God has a plan and I have so much Faith in him, but when people say "it's not God's plan" I can't help but get a little upset and angry. Who are they to say and know "God's plan?" The only person who knows is God himself! I hate not knowing, at times I wish he would swoop down here and just say "Tiffany you CAN get pregnant, it's just not your time yet"...I just want to know it's possible...Not knowing is the hardest! Keep your faith sweetie, I don't see anything wrong with getting upset at those comments, it's apart of infertility and some people just have no idea what to say or do to help us...they don't know that "prayer" is the best and only thing that helps us!

Also-I look a little rough in my Bentley's Braclet pic too-haha, I haven't posted it but I sent it to Crystal the other night, we were in our PJ's when she sent me a text asking for it haha! So I slapped on some makeup so I would at least look 1/2 awake :) My work computer blocks pics-UGH, so I will have to look when I get home!!!

Keep your Faith! I am always here for you and praying for you!!!

Love-Hugs and Prayers,

Mrs. Gamgee said...

Scripture tells us that God knows the desires of our hearts... no one (not even us, unfortunately) can know his timing, but he knows how desperately we long to be mommies. I think that the knowledge that somehow, some way he is going to make it possible for me to be a mom is the thing that gets me through my dark days. Sending prayers your way!

A said...

Hi! First time commenting on your blog :) I wrote a post about this general idea last month ("God's participation"). It really is a hard idea to reconcile...sitting around waiting on God's plan or doing something and hoping/trusting it is part of God's plan!

Crystal said...

Bless your heart! I am praying for you two! I am going to add you to my prayer list on my blog!

Aww, thank you for posting about Bentley. You're a doll! I appreciate the support more than you know.

Jenn said...

See...God does have a plan...and it's a good one, too! :)

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