Tuesday, May 26, 2009

New Stupid Things...

...That People Say.

Last month I wrote a blog about stupid stuff people say about infertility. Well, I'm still getting stupid comments and questions.

I am absolutely in no way ashamed of my infertility experience. I am more than happy to talk to anyone about it that has questions or is curious. However, it really isn't anyone's business, and there IS a way to approach it.

When I tell someone I am having twins, the FIRST thing they say is "oh do twins run in your family, or were you on fertility drugs?" It's absolutely obnoxious. When I see people with multiples not ONCE has that question EVER popped in my head. It's so personal and private. ONCE I wondered if someone used fertility drugs when I was first introduced to Lauren's blog about her quadruplets. I read through her blog and she did not mention it, so guess what? I forgot about it. It wasn't my business and I didn't think about it again.

I answer that I took fertility drugs, and I haven't gotten any negative answers, but it makes me feel uncomfortable when people (especially men... is that weird??) ask me about it. When people just ask me if twins run in my family I just answer no. I give no extra information.

I've been reading lots of other multiple mommy blogs and this looks like something I will be dealing with forever, so I better get used to it!!

I'm really just annoyed that people these days do not respect anyone's privacy. It's utterly obnoxious.

In other news, I had the most awful migraine ever this weekend, and couldn't take anything. What pure torture that was... I also got a BellaBand yesterday! WOW the most amazing invention EVER!!!

10 people that love me told me so:

Nina said...

People are nosy. What's a bellaband?

The Pifer's said...

ok love, edcuate me...whats a bellaband...it appears to look like you can wear regular pants and those help support your belly?? But if thats so then whats the difference in that and maternity pants? Educate me dear :) People sometimes are just so neive...it's nuts what some people find the nerve to ask and say...I've had some very strange things regarding infertility---it's like you bumped from one type of questions to another...next time tell them, YES it's fertility meds, I had to fight and pray for my beautiful babies and if there were 6 I would still be just as happy, not everyone can just "poof" be pregnant! Love ya sweetie...don't worry about those ignorant people :)

Crysbena said...

I'm so sorry about the comments. You're right... it is stupid, but I have to admit that before my IF I didn't realize it was hurtful or a stupid comment. I never even occured to me to ask if twins were from treatments... I was naive and always sort of thought most happened naturally. I made the mistake only once to ask a friend if her or her husband had twins run in the family. I didn't mean anything by it. It was just my way of trying to seem interested. She told me about their treatments and I felt like a total ass! Just wanted to give you a different persective.... some people probably don't mean much by it, but I totally understand how it comes across.

B MoM said...

ditto on the bella band. Wearing mine right now!

theworms said...

People are dumb and don't know how to keep their mouths shut. I don't understand why people don't think before they speak.

Congrats on the Twins!!


looking4#3 said...

I have been on other blogs where twins/triplets were on the way--and they were saying the same thing. I will give you the best piece of advice--or assvice--whichever--
When someone asks, "Do twins run in the family??"
I think the perfect response is, "They do now!!!"
No need to explain anything to them (unless of course you want to!!)
No matter what--you got DOUBLE THE MAGIC going on girl!!!!!

A said...

Hmm, Hubby and I would be thrilled with twins during our first Clomid cycle (starting in about 10 days!), but twins ALSO run in my family!

I'm sorry that people are so nosy, though...

I love looking4#3's answer!!! :-D

Beautiful Mess said...

Since I'm new to your blog, I tagged you for a meme. If you have already done it, go ahead and ignore it. If not, HAVE FUN!

Dianne said...

Love the response up above!!! I understand what you mean, I am an identical twin going through IF. I have already been told by my family that I can't have fraternal girls because that would be a "let down". Um ouch! I will take whatever I can get thank you very much!! Some people think of fertilty treatments as cheating you know!

I am so happy for you and your babies!!!

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