I'm feeling a little bit better than the last post. If I don't think about it, then I'm fine!
I really think that my husband thinks I am crazy. I never want to tell him how I feel about it anymore because I know what he will say. "There's a reason for this. God will give us a baby when He wants to. It's just not the right time." Blah blah blah.
I don't think people realize why I get upset. I think it is pretty cut and dry. Yes, TTC SUCKS and it's frustrating, but I get sooo soo mad and upset because I SHOULDN'T BE TTC! I SHOULD ALMOST BE IN MY 3RD TRIMESTER! How hard is that to understand? So when I get sad when I see pregnant ladies or little newborns or get invited to a baby shower, it's not because I want to be pregnant. It's because I WAS AND NOW I'M NOT.
It's pretty annoying :)
Thankfully I have my babycenter and blogsphere people. Y'all know ;)
As for the title.... It's raining icky outside. No sun. But it will come out sometime soon, right? And hopefully the old happy Katie will too. I was just thinking the other day how I don't think I have been truly happy since I lost my baby. Though, I don't know if I was ever as happy as I was when I was pregnant before I got pregnant (if that makes sense...). It's so so weird because I don't remember life before I got pregnant. It seems like a totally different person. I don't know if that is bad or good, but I was just a different person. I know when people fall in love they say "I don't know how I lived without you". It's kinda like that. Except now, I don't know how to function really.
I think I am taking this miscarriage A LOT A LOT A LOT harder than I should be. I feel like I am one of those woman who lost their babies at 40+ weeks in utero or in labor or 2 hours later. I shouldn't feel this absolutely beat to the core, should I? I started my Prozac again last night so may be that will help. It might just be my own chemical imbalance haha
Ugh I hate sounding so depressed!!!! Ummm something happy something happy..........
Me and Regan almost 2 whole years ago!!! Jordan was only a few days old!! (Regan and Jordan are my nieces, the absolute LOVES of my life! Taken away by their stupid Army daddy to Missouri in May!)
7 years ago