I'm coming up to TTC for a year and a half, and the comments are just ROLLING in.
I stopped talking about TTC at work because 1. It really is no one's business, and 2. I was tired of hearing "You're trying to hard, just relax" from people that have never ever been in my situation before in their lives.
The "trying too hard" is the most common comment I get and it makes me SOOOO mad. If someone wanted something really really bad, they would try really hard to get it right? A degree, a dog, a diet pepsi, a better golf swing, a better credit report, a new mattress, an early chemo appointment, a new car, etc etc. I could go on for hours. So what is so wrong with trying hard to have a baby? And I don't really see what the big difference is between trying and not. His you know what is in my you know where the same as if I was ovulating, trying or drunk. What's the big deal?!
My mother is trying really hard now not to say anything bad. Even after she told me play by play of a baby shower I skipped, she is trying. She said "you can't have a baby because I could never love anyone as much as I love you." Like I said, she's trying.
Yesterday at work a guy said his wrist hurt which just set the ball rolling for very inappropriate non-workplace jokes. Then I said "You should donate your sperm" and he said he wouldn't want his kids running around if he couldn't raise them. I told him he would make someone very very happy and he said "It's not my responsibility to help some misfit that can't get pregnant on their own" or something to that degree.
Yeah. Seriously. So I told him I was one of those misfits that he was talking about and that this was National Infertility Week and he needs to watch what he's saying cause that was NOT funny. I said some other things in my rant, but I don't remember. He promptly apologized and I think generally felt bad. I think if he was having an actual educated conversation he may have not said the same thing, but who knows.
By the way, I shook his Mountain Dew bottle up. A lot.
The End
15 years ago
9 people that love me told me so:
Some people blow my mind with stuff like that. Its like we should all wear shirt saying "don't be a dumb fuck and talk about infertility like you know something" ugh. Good job standing up for yourself though! Love you
Oh don't you just hate comments like that :( I get them all the time too, some hurt worse then others, some I roll my eyes at and chuckle and say to myself "they have no clue" and some I get furious at and bawl like a big baby! I wouldn't wish this on ANYONE, but at times I wish some people could spend one day in our shoes so that they could truly understand!
Always praying for you hun!
Tiff
People are amazing. I'm going to start saying "if I don't try, how am I gonna get pregnant, immaculate conception" nevermind the fact that it takes a dr. to get us pregnant. I'm glad you put him in his place.
This is the hardest thing about going through infertility...people need to think about what is coming out of their mouth before they say it! Life lessons here...
BTW, I think it's hilarious that you shook up his Mt. Dew!
Katie... YOU ROCK!!
I am sorry about his comment. I am sure people just do not think before they speak. I get the trying too hard from my DH of all people! It makes me want to scream!! If I want something I have always worked hard to get it and a baby is no different!
I'm so sorry about that comment. People can say such hurtful things and it's not right. They don't understand.
Glad you shook up his bottle! Too funny. :)
I love the Mt Dew revenge. Girl after my own heart! (Yeah, I'm weird like that too. Don't worry. We're really brilliant!)
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